The full archive

October 2026

• № 176 Free up your mornings by doing them the night before
• № 175 Escape blame at work forever by making every day your first day
• № 174 Get the Christmas gift you want by hinting in May and denying everything in December
• № 173 Get 100 per cent recall from your dog by only calling it when it's already on the way
• № 172 Make your recipes unforgettable by writing them in dekagrams and centilitres
• № 171 Stop the wash shrinking your jumpers by buying them two sizes too big
• № 170 Keep the flat clean by booking a guest for every night of the year
• № 169 End the thermostat war by negotiating in tenths of a degree
• № 168 Settle whether to run or walk in the rain by standing perfectly still until it stops
• № 167 Keep your cat off your keyboard by buying it a keyboard of its own
• № 166 Fall asleep faster by counting sheep in a spreadsheet with conditional formatting
• № 165 Organise your spice rack alphabetically, then cook through it in order

September 2026

• № 164 Become the office hero by hiding the good stapler on Monday and finding it by Wednesday
• № 163 Cut your energy bill by parking the fridge against the radiator so they cancel out
• № 162 Get your crush's number by nudging their trolley and insisting on exchanging details
• № 161 Turn any hour-long meeting into a ten-minute one by arriving fifty minutes late
• № 160 Save on vet bills by asking your dog where it hurts and accepting the answer
• № 159 Scramble an egg without cracking it by shaking it very hard first
• № 158 Achieve a perfect forecasting record by publishing every forecast the day after
• № 157 Never reset the oven clock again by timing every repair to end at exactly midnight
• № 156 Clear any tree on the golf course by aiming directly at it
• № 155 Get promoted by cc'ing your boss's boss on everything, starting with your lunch order
• № 154 Modify any exercise that's too advanced by switching the class off
• № 153 Become the household authority by teaching your partner one invented fun fact a day
• № 152 Gain an extra hour every day by putting the clocks back an hour every night
• № 151 Never be charged for a phone call by refusing to hang up
• № 150 Get club soda out of any carpet by dabbing it with a little red wine
• № 149 Cure your snoring by sleeping somewhere nobody can hear it
• № 148 Make any sum 80% easier by converting every number to binary first
• № 147 Prevent brown bananas forever by eating the whole bunch on day one
• № 146 Network on the worst day of your life so every future impression is an upgrade
• № 145 Speed up any download by maintaining unbroken eye contact with the progress bar
• № 144 Get free piano lessons by funding a small musician for eight years
• № 143 Never pay for an oil change again by choosing a car with a slow, dignified leak
• № 142 Guarantee a dry day by hauling your largest umbrella everywhere
• № 141 Eliminate all glare by extending your eye black to the entire face

August 2026

• № 140 End every meeting on time by scheduling it 25 minutes before lunch
• № 139 Test your pasta's doneness by throwing it at the nearest pasta purist
• № 138 Honour any rain check immediately by supplying the rain
• № 137 Stop overthinking at 2 a.m. by booking your worries a 3 p.m. appointment
• № 136 Halve your laundry forever by acknowledging that underwear has two sides
• № 135 Declutter any room by moving everything into a box labelled 'sort later'
• № 134 Adopt stoicism by greeting everyone with a cheerful reminder that they will die
• № 133 Unlock unlimited parking by pressing the little triangle button
• № 132 Cure jet lag by remaining emotionally loyal to your home time zone
• № 131 Protect any wooden surface by dressing it in a shower curtain
• № 130 Achieve mind-body balance by discovering your body is in even worse shape than your mind
• № 129 Hit 10,000 steps by forgetting why you walked into every room
• № 128 Recreate fine Italian dining by grating parmesan over tinned ravioli
• № 127 Build a second income stream by charging everyone you know a convenience fee
• № 126 Achieve inbox zero by opening a brand-new email address
• № 125 Find true love efficiently by setting your dating radius to one mile
• № 124 Adopt a retired customs beagle to find out who brought snacks to the party
• № 123 Doomscroll sustainably by scrolling up and reusing doom you've already seen
• № 122 Avoid parking tickets by removing the wipers they'd be tucked under
• № 121 Get a hyperlocal weather forecast by opening the window
• № 120 Survive being caught asleep at your desk by announcing you're polyphasic
• № 119 Fold a fitted sheet perfectly by balling it up and shutting the cupboard with conviction
• № 118 Replace your alarm clock with a cat
• № 117 Parallel-park perfectly every time by finding two empty spaces
• № 116 Stop overthinking around your crush by introducing a larger problem
• № 115 Survive any HR meeting by bringing an Uno reverse card
• № 114 Make recruiters open your application by borrowing a subject line from their nightmares
• № 113 Save $215,000 a year by cancelling food and housing
• № 112 Make any queue move faster by joining the other queue
• № 111 Train your goldfish to remember you by introducing yourself daily
• № 110 Stop your cat from knocking things off tables by owning nothing
• № 109 Walk your dog efficiently by letting it walk you
• № 108 Teach your cat to come when called by calling it whatever it was already doing
• № 107 Apologise for slow replies by replying even slower, establishing a new baseline
• № 106 Be fascinating at parties by knowing one fact about octopuses
• № 105 Get invited to fewer things by answering "how are you" honestly
• № 104 Keep friendships alive by liking their posts
• № 103 Escape any small talk by saying "well—" and slapping your knees
• № 102 Always know what to say by texting instead, with a 45-minute drafting window
• № 101 Win every argument by having it later, alone, in the shower
• № 100 Remember everyone's name by calling everyone "legend"
• № 099 Beat insomnia by starting your taxes
• № 098 Wake up refreshed by lowering what "refreshed" means
• № 097 Cure nightmares by dreaming about something else

July 2026

• № 096 Get a full eight hours by going to bed eight hours before your alarm
• № 095 Stop snoozing by placing your alarm across the room, in a safe, in a country you do not live in
• № 094 Fall asleep faster by setting an alarm for 6 a.m
• № 093 Make any outfit athleisure by being slightly out of breath in it
• № 092 Always look intentional by wearing all black and saying "it's a whole thing"
• № 091 Keep white shirts white by never eating anything with sauce, color, or joy
• № 090 Never lose a sock again by buying only identical socks
• № 089 Break in new shoes by having your feet adapt to the pain
• № 088 Remove wrinkles by standing very still so the fabric doesn't know it's being worn
• № 087 Experience business class by boarding last with a neck pillow and an attitude
• № 086 Learn to pack light by unpacking heavy, repeatedly, until shame does the rest
• № 085 Never lose luggage again by not bringing any
• № 084 See the world from home by spinning a globe and touching it
• № 083 Skip rush hour by leaving at 3 a.m. and waiting five hours in the office parking lot
• № 082 Guarantee a window seat by flying alone in a very small plane
• № 081 Beat jet lag by refusing to acknowledge time zones
• № 080 Never miss a flight by arriving at the airport yesterday
• № 079 Stretch every morning by reaching for a phone slightly too far from the bed
• № 078 Boost your immune system by declining to read about what's going around
• № 077 Whiten your eyes by sleeping, allegedly
• № 076 Build core strength by laughing at your own life choices, daily
• № 075 Fix your posture by balancing your phone on your head
• № 074 Drink eight glasses of water a day by owning eight glasses and a sense of duty
• № 073 Cool down properly after a workout by not working out
• № 072 Practice intermittent fasting by sleeping
• № 071 Run a marathon by running 26 separate miles across one calendar year
• № 070 Hit 10,000 steps by pacing while your phone charges to 99%
• № 069 Retire early by lowering the bar for what counts as retired
• № 068 Make any purchase free by dividing the price by the times you'll use it, then not doing the division
• № 067 Win any bill negotiation by hanging up before they answer
• № 066 Manage subscriptions by forgetting which ones you have
• № 065 Get rich slowly by getting older near a savings account
• № 064 Budget like a professional: log every expense in a notebook you bought on impulse
• № 063 Avoid impulse purchases by leaving your wallet at home, and your phone at home, and also staying home
• № 062 Double your savings by counting them twice
• № 061 Whiten your teeth by wearing darker clothes
• № 060 Save your coffee budget by brewing at home, then buying one anyway because yours is bad
• № 059 Cool down soup instantly by declaring it gazpacho
• № 058 Impress dinner guests by narrating the microwave like a cooking show
• № 057 Never run out of milk again by not drinking milk
• № 056 Sharpen your knives by exclusively cutting soft things
• № 055 Cook pasta al dente every time by cooking it until it's done
• № 054 Master portion control with smaller plates, refilled nine times
• № 053 Keep ice cream from ever melting by eating it in the store parking lot
• № 052 Cut onions without crying by having someone else cut them in another house
• № 051 Never burn toast again by setting the toaster to 1 and accepting warm bread
• № 050 Meal prep for the entire week by ordering seven pizzas on Sunday
• № 049 Open any stuck jar by handing it to someone stronger while stating clearly that you loosened it
• № 048 Never forget where you parked by parking in the same spot every time, forever
• № 047 Stop losing pens by switching to pencils
• № 046 Keep your desk clean by working from the couch
• № 045 Untangle any cable by buying a new cable
• № 044 Childproof your home by not letting anyone in, including yourself
• № 043 Save on heating by wearing every jacket you own simultaneously
• № 042 Declutter any room by putting everything in boxes labeled "later"
• № 041 Fix a squeaky door by playing louder music
• № 040 Eliminate dust permanently by calling it "patina"
• № 039 Keep houseplants thriving by buying plastic ones and whispering encouragement anyway
• № 038 Never lose the TV remote again by taping it to the TV
• № 037 Find anything in your junk drawer by upgrading to a junk room
• № 036 Make your bed instantly by sleeping on top of the covers
• № 035 Make Mondays easier by dreading them all Sunday
• № 034 Improve your handwriting by typing
• № 033 Beat afternoon fatigue with a power nap, achieved by being extremely tired
• № 032 Look busy at work by walking fast while holding a folder
• № 031 Take better notes by writing "will remember this" and closing the notebook
• № 030 Mark everything as read to experience the silence of achievement
• № 029 Schedule your procrastination so it counts as time management
• № 028 Reach deep focus by turning off notifications, and also the computer
• № 027 Multitask efficiently by doing two things badly at the same time
• № 026 Attend any meeting by email: reply "noted" every fifteen minutes
• № 025 Never miss a deadline by never agreeing to one
• № 024 Finish your to-do list by only writing down things you've already done
• № 023 Learn any language by setting your phone to it
• № 022 Reduce screen time by watching television instead
• № 021 Back up your memories to the cloud by describing them loudly outdoors
• № 020 Prevent screen smudges by pointing at things with a clean stick
• № 019 Protect your passwords by forgetting them yourself
• № 018 Answer robocalls in a robot voice so they feel at home
• № 017 Boost your download speed by staring at the progress bar with greater intensity
• № 016 Enable system-wide dark mode by turning off the lights
• № 015 Update all your apps at once by buying a new phone
• № 014 Fix any printer by maintaining unbroken eye contact while it decides
• № 013 Never lose data again by never saving anything
• № 012 Achieve inbox zero by deleting your email account
• № 011 Save 10 minutes every morning by sleeping in tomorrow's work clothes
• № 010 Turn your phone brightness to maximum to work on your tan while doomscrolling
• № 009 Put googly eyes on your fridge so it can judge your midnight snacking properly
• № 008 Cancel your gym membership and lift your grocery bags very, very slowly instead
• № 007 Cut your commute in half by moving halfway to your office
• № 006 Free up disk space by deleting your empty folders
• № 005 Stop charging your phone at 99% to keep it humble
• № 004 Waterproof any pair of shoes by staying indoors
• № 003 Back up your to-do list with a screenshot so the tasks you won't do are safe
• № 002 Always find your keys instantly by looking in the last place you'd look, first
• № 001 Set all your clocks 0 minutes ahead so you're never surprised by the real time