Sleep optimisers have moved past the eight-hour night: elite performers rest in strategic 20-minute blocks, a schedule endorsed by da Vinci, Napoleon, and other figures unavailable for comment.
Boss: Were you asleep just now?
You: I’m polyphasic. That was sprint four of six.
Boss: It’s 9:40 in the morning.
You: Which is why I’m ahead.
Field note: the schedule begins retroactively, the moment you’re caught. You are now committed to napping five more times today.