№ 058

Impress dinner guests by narrating the microwave like a cooking show

Dinner-party pressure peaks in the final minutes, when guests drift kitchenward to watch you panic at appliances.

Narrate the microwave like a cooking show. “Ninety seconds on high — we’re looking for rotation, and — yes. Beautiful.” Tension, expertise, a finale with a bell. The food is unchanged. The evening is not.

uselessness 93%
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