№ 118

Replace your alarm clock with a cat

Alarm clocks have snooze buttons, volume settings, and off switches — three separate failure modes before 7 a.m.

A cat has none of these. It wakes you at five, daily, by standing on your sternum and screaming about a bowl that is half full. Punctuality: absolute. Configurability: none. Certification note: the cat cannot be set for weekends off. The board tried. The board has apologised to the cat.

uselessness 89%
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