#tech

Multitasking at its finest: self-care and screen time, finally unified. Dermatologists confirm the SPF you need for this activity is 0, because a phone screen emits no meaningful UV, because this does not work.

Spotted in the wild. Our lab tested it for three hours and emerged paler.

Your computer is full of empty folders: abandoned projects, New Folder (7), that misc directory inside another misc directory. Each one occupies exactly 0 bytes.

Delete them all. At scale, the savings compound: one hundred empty folders freed is one hundred times 0 bytes reclaimed. The numbers speak for themselves, quietly, because they are zero.

Our highest-rated hack to date. The certification board wept.

A phone at 100% believes it has achieved everything. That confidence is when standby drain gets cocky.

Unplugging at 99% reminds the device that perfection is unattainable and there is always more to strive for. Battery-life impact: none. Psychological dominance over a consumer electronics product: total.

Data loss is a serious threat. Imagine your phone dies and takes your to-do list with it — all seventeen items, some dating back to 2023, gone.

Take a screenshot of the list. Now there are two copies of the tasks you won’t do, ensuring full redundancy for your inaction. Advanced practitioners sync the screenshot to the cloud, achieving geo-replicated procrastination.