#finance

Gyms charge monthly for access to heavy objects. You already own heavy objects; you carry them home twice a week.

Simply perform the carry at one-quarter speed. Time under tension is a real training principle, which makes this hack dangerously close to useful — it loses certification points for that — but rest assured: the looks you’ll get in the car park lowering a bag of oranges over nine seconds provide no benefit whatsoever.

Commute optimisation usually means podcasts, e-bikes, or quiet despair. Think bigger: relocate your entire household to the geographic midpoint between your current home and your workplace.

Your commute is now mathematically 50% shorter. Repeat the process to halve it again. Zeno’s paradox guarantees you will never actually arrive at the office, which some readers will recognise as the true life hack hidden inside this one.